If you are in a relationship that is in difficulty, one of the most tricky choices can be whether to start therapy on your own, or to begin together with the other(s) involved.
I hear this question so often so, if that's where you are, this is for you.
Firstly, I'll be using 'couple' and 'partner(s)' here as a shorthand.
All constellations and alternatives of partners, marriage, poly, generational, and sibling relationships are welcome!
Hopefully I can help help guide you through some of the pros and cons, and help you decide whether you come to me as an individual or as couple.
If you do still have questions afterwards, then simply get in touch.
When you come along with another to work on your relationship, then that relationship is our focus.
It might help to think of your relationship like another whole person you bring along to therapy with you.
It has a life of its own, will react and respond to the people in it, and is made up of everything they feel, say, and do together.
No one person is responsible for that relationship, however each person is responsible for their individual part.
Your relationship has a history, a present and, if you chose that together, a future.
I cannot ethically be the exclusive therapist for one individual and also their couples therapist at the same time.
All people involved would need balanced individual sessions with me and together.
If you and I start working together individually for some time, then I cannot become your couples therapist later.
It is why I ask that, if you want couples therapy together, it is best that everyone comes along together from the first, if they can.
This is to ethically protect you and your relationship. The process of therapy is based on mutual trust, transparency, and inclusivity for everyone involved.
If you were to end couples therapy at any time, then I could continue on with you exclusively as an individual afterwards.
When you've already chosen couples therapy, but your partner(s) won't agree, or you are too concerned about asking them, this can be very frustrating and disappointing.
In this case, I would recommend that you come along for individual therapy to find the best way forward for you.
You probably need individual support at such a difficult time, to at least find out how to approach the future of your relationship, in a way that is best for you individually.
If you've got this far on the page, then you can probably already guess my answer to this one!
I don't take on any individual clients who are 'sent' to therapy by someone else to be 'fixed' - and that principle goes for Couples Therapy too.
Each person who enters therapy has to, at least, have taken that first step willingly for themselves.
Individuals can only choose to make that commitment to transition for themselves.
Whether you choose Individual or Couples therapy, you are making a decision for something to be different
in your relationships.
It is always best that you come along to your first session with me together.
If you cannot, then get in touch. and we can discuss the best way forward for you, as an individual or couple.
Whichever option you do decide on, individually, or as a couple,
I'm here to support you in working through whatever troubles you.
That's my commitment and
I look forward to welcoming you soon.